Rebecca Riots is on vay-cay
Hello wankers
I’m currently arsing my way around New Zealand. Normal service will be resumed, ehhhh, sometime when I sober up/get down of the glacier.
Eco maniac
While cleaning out my kitchen cupboards I counted nine ‘bags for life’.
So, either a: I’m a cat or b: totally missing the point of eco bags.
Trouble is, I nearly always forget to bring along my bag for life. I’m halfway down the road to the supermarket and I’ll remember it. Usually when I see someone walking towards me with their own bag for life.
Then when I get to the supermarket, I feel guilty about filling up plastic bags, and so purchase another eco bag, only to stuff in into the back of the cupboard with its friends.
I also bought one of those on-the-go coffee mugs too. But I keep leaving it at home.
Meh!
Malaysian man gets nut stuck around penis
OUCH!
A Malaysian welder had to have a nut removed from around his penis after an attempt to lengthen it before he gets engaged next week went embarrassingly wrong, a news report said.
The nut got stuck on his penis following an erection, the Star newspaper said, forcing him to seek help at a hospital in southern Johor state.
Staff from the Sultanah Aminah hospital had to drain some blood from the penis and cut away a top layer of skin before the object could be removed, the newspaper said.
It said the fire and rescue department were also involved in trying to remove the nut from the unnamed welder, who is in his 20s and hoped the nut would weigh down his penis to make it longer.
“The patient is now recovering and we hope to discharge him today (Sunday),” hospital director Daud Abdul Rahim told the Star.
On August 25, another young man in Kuala Lumpur had tried to increase his sexual prowess by slipping a steel ring around his penis, forcing the fire department to cut off the ring after doctors were unable to remove it, the newspaper said.
- AFP
So…the Rose of Tralee is not about looks…
Well, it clearly IS because, as I predicted in the post below, the Tipp rose was the biggest ride. Talent my hole, eh?
Newsflash: People who buy Bling Water are total asshats
Jack and Jill is a thoroughly modern Irish couple. Both 30, these high fliers drink up all the benefits of living in a rich nation and work hard at their jobs in marketing. Jack has man-icures, Jill receives regular collagen injections at a Ballsbridge clinic. Both work out 300 times per week to maintain hard bodies and spend the GDP of a small nation every year on cosmetic enhancements in a bid to disguise their mild lack of natural beauty.
Jack and Jill host regular dinner parties for their assortment of friends with high disposable incomes. Over terrines, they discuss all the important issues of the day, including the US presidential race, war in Iraq, the price of property, the north side south side divide, Barbie v Sindy and holidays on the Amalfi Coast.
But lately, the couple found those staple topics of conversation have begun to dry up. Where once, the price of houses in Navan could fill up at least three hours of post cheesecake chatter, and immigration could fill up a half hour lull, lately, there seems nothing left to say.
Even the latest David McWilliams acronym; WCWNI (wanky cunts with no imagination) only holds court for a brief 10 minute interlude between courses.
Not quite ready to breed, and certainly not thinking of marriage just yet (Luttrelstown isn’t available until 2015) Jack and Jill are forced to do something really crazy to bring another talking point to the table.
So the cunts go to Superquinn and pay Eur45 for a bottle of…….WATER…….
Superquinn say they are happy with the response they’ve had since they began selling Bling, according to beverage buyer John McLennan. “We’ve had a fairly positive reaction. We’ve sold six bottles so far,” he told Herald.ie. “Most people buy it for the fun content.” “They buy it for the craic, to have with friends around the dinner table. It’s a real talking point.”
What the fuck does this water do? Cure AIDS? Make your tits grow? Recession my hole.



