Archive for July 1st, 2008
Crazy bitch, hates showers, Asians.
This thing I can only describe as lard surrounding a hairy vagina, lives on the ground floor of my building. I live on the third and between my apartment and lard’s is a very pleasant Japanese family.
Hairy lard regularly yells “Fackin Asians, blaady baaastards are everywhere” out her window.
And when I dare to flush the jacks after 8pm she yells up
“Flashing the toilet after 6pm is facking unnecessary. Ya woke me ap ya blaady baaaaastard.”
I’ve taken to blasting Britney Spears out my bathroom window just to really piss her off. Craaaaazeeee!
New Tanaiste’s chompers inspire violence
My usually calm and placid mother has been gripped by an all-consuming desire to beat Mary Coughlan’s considerable teeth in.
It was while the new Tanaiste was ‘interviewed’ on the Miriam O’Pregnant talk show that my mommy dearest came to such a violent conclusion.
“The more I watched her, the angrier I became. She has just this mouth full of teeth and I wanted to beat them in.”
I can’t say I’ve noticed, but then I’m in Sydney right now and while large, her teeth are not so large I can see them across a few continents.
Although can somebody check Google Earth and make sure you can’t see them from space?
A quick google search revealed Mary does indeed have a set of chompers that could chew her out of a mountain.
But if my calm mam was rendered incapacitated with rage at the mere sight of the Tainiste’s chompers, just think what kind of effect they may have on the nation as a whole…it could be like a Love Ulster march every single day…
