Archive for August 21st, 2008
Speaking of cows…
No, I lie, I lie, I secretly love the Rose of Tralee even though it offends all my instincts. I warmed to the contest following a reluctant work assignment where I had to cover the fucking thing. Three days of booze and dancing in Tralee later and I was converted, even mildly emotionally attached.
So let me be the voice of authority and give you my quick Rose round-up.
The good
Tipp Rose: Bit of a ride isn’t she? I hope that’s not too photoshopped and in real life she looks like an old hag.
Cork Rose: She may be doing a Bergdorf Blonde but this Corkie is pure Oireland. Even though she speaks German. Heil!
Dublin Rose: Winsome? Check. Nice bone stucture? Check. Works with retards? Check.
London Rose: Addin some FLAVA! Hurrah!
The Middlin’
South Australia Rose: Points for being all natural, points off for being all natural. Points for having healthy looking hair. Let’s hope she has some kick ass talent.
Coventry Rose: The poor cow should get a prize for living in Coventry at least. The place makes Milton Keynes look like Paris in springtime.
New Zealand Rose: While her presentation is excellent, I am deeply suspicious of the side profile and believe her nose to be the size of the Franz Josef glazier.
Philadelphia Rose: I mean, she’s alright, but looks far too fucking chipper for my liking..
Toronto Rose: OMYGAAAD TEEEETH! HAIR! TEETH HAIR!
The WhatTheFuck
Southern California Rose: Slow turn out for the SC heats this year eh?
Liverpool Rose: Why?
Boston Rose: Representing the preppy chinny section
Sydney Rose: Maybe the dingo took your tweezers?
Special award for the most porn star looking Rose
Luxemborg Rose
Special award for the most photoshopped Rose profile photo
Kerry Rose
The Rose of Tralee takes place from Fri 22 to Tue 26 August.
Beauty contest for cows in Cavan
Your typical mouthy cow from Cavan
Roll over Miss Ireland it is time for Moos Ireland- a beauty contest for cows…
Though, given the state of the women in Cavan, I’d wager the cows are far prettier..
